Ruins

"How do you live with a true heart when everything around you is collapsing" (Hayao Miyazaki)

Based on the the profound prologue above let me elucidate feelings that are left unattended and if granted the passage of time it gets engulfed by dust and even rust, you will have pauses, intermittent breaks when you look at yourself in the mirror over the passing years and the dead past. You will grow old and young, sometimes there will be no growing on your part but things around you shall grow and you will feel left out or minuscule but surely you shall look at yourself asking thousands of questions reflective of self-doubt and loathe often about the way your life is proceeding or is just static like a snail who thinks it's fast or fastest out there.

Many tears, over-grown hair follicles and tedious repetitions of tantrums, enthralled often, melancholic mostly, happy a few times but it will never vanish , the feeling of everything pulsating or just there, the mere satisfaction of living full because your vessel has a hole in a place which can never be fixed. It does not need fixing because it will overflow once fixed and catharsis occurs due to that irreparable hole that allows you to express and lose at the same time. Catharsis is important as is emptiness so maybe feel more, feel everyday, feel something or feel nothing? 

The days have become shallow or at least your perception of it has and we need to fill it with words, colour, pain, magic, blood and possibilities. The possibilities of committing mistakes and to curse as much as one can. Grow old, grow young, grow wise, be a cunt, be a dick, be a jerk, become an addict, an addict of love and narcotics, break down and if you can stand up then please do but if you can't its okay to lie down for a while. You will understand that 'to not understand' sometimes is indeed better. When was the last time you really felt alive or were happy? When was the last time you wrote I love you to somebody with a warm smile on your face? 

26th October 2018, 8:07 PM