Birthday is just a day, my birth took long time back (literally), though I will enjoy it nonetheless

To all my lovely organic and artificial beans,

I understand that lot of you are sitting idle and thinking about loads of themes to think about. I mean from just sitting in your room by yourself and listening to alternative music on your respective devices. It's my Birthday, I don't necessarily want to call it happy because happiness is not derived from celebrating annual birthdays. Happiness is derived from money and lots of money, I'm not joking, money gives you happiness because I can literally go out right now and purchase a lot of cool stuff but that never ends. Buying stuff makes me satisfied not exactly happy, so money is a method perhaps to acquire what one would say the feeling of comfort albeit it comes pretty close to what happiness is or feels, everything is about how one feels these days. If you're not feeling well enough or functioning like yesterday then the days sucks and everybody around you become antagonists who are trying to make your life miserable than it already is. I would say that it will never stop, this conundrum of you trying to position yourself and to feel like you belong somewhere. You don't belong anywhere, apologies if it's harsh but that seems to be really accurate these days. Belongingness, love, happiness are very relative terms which like seasons or winds change their course of directions, they are never linear or predictable. That's why they are so fun to look at and it makes them even more beautiful when they do stuff inside your brains. Let your feelings and other sensitive stuff simmer and sink in, enjoy it like liquor if you don't drink liquor then enjoy it like whatever metaphor your aware of. For now, I would suggest keep doing whatever that you're doing. Even if you're not doing anything then just don't do anything and procrastinate if that seems more plausible and agrees with your head and your perishable body. Everyday is the same, whether it's beautiful or shitty really depends on your mood and the way you perceive things around you, something berry simple but at the same time very difficult to digest and keep it enclosed in your brain. Time is not precious my beautiful beans, your priorities are and if you're priorities are met then time becomes an ally and you sort of use it to describe the whole picture even though you sort of know that you have cheated life a lot of times then you would have anticipated. When things don't go in your way then the day becomes evil and then we start to whine and complain and become agitated and later drink wine or something to cool it of. I feel like using terms like life is very hazardous to your health because it sort of puts responsibilities on your shoulder something that nobody is prepared for and it kind of makes you see things, not good things at times but a lot of things become clearer as you age. So those of you who are kind of feeling agitated and lost or frustrated just look at your palms and see how tender they are (not necessarily though), life has not started yet for us kids. Ask your parents they will tell you a thing or two about life, and as for me, I'm really enjoying my time here on this planet. Birthdays or any amount of days doesn't necessarily matter because I am a little ant who is brushing aside grass and searching for food and some music to help me go through my days. 

           A little poem maybe to make things not dull and certainly not boring than it already is,  

It's as if yesterday that I spent hours looking at one particular paragraph talking about love

The proportion of feeling love and reading about it was really out of balance 

So, I started thinking about everything nice that I felt and simultaneously started to look for their definitions 

It was a mess, happiness felt something else and the definition were way of track from one's feelings

So you know I sort of did the opposite, I played my feelings according to the books or did the right thing because it felt like it was right

Turns out that it was really really really ugly, so I decided to never experiment with feelings 

And it also turns out that feelings can never be captured through words, the moments are

Feelings are like wounds, they bleed but after a while they don't

To talk about feelings kills them, so they whisper in my ear instead

Telling me, "Don't cage us like yourself, let us explore and we will help you Mr. Gaurav"

So that's it

VERY NICE FEELINGS ALWAYS FOR ME!

A cute picture of Gaurav Shrestha 'dreaming' on his Birthday, July 5th, 2018, 12:02 Am (UTC 5:45)